The man I became
by Skovko
Summary: Seth became addicted to painkillers when he was out with his knee. With that addiction came the monster that took everything out on Juliette. He didn't wake up until she left him. He went into rehab to clean up his path. Now he's back in WWE, ready to show the world and especially her that he's still the man they all remember. He's gonna try his hardest to get back what he lost.
1. Take back what is mine

Seth took a deep breath as he stood on top of the ramp. Down by the ring stood Roman and Juliette. Her dark brown, bordering to black, hair reached him from afar and he dreamed about looking into those moss green eyes again.

He had hurt her way worse than anyone ever deserved. He had hurt the person he loved and was supposed to keep safe. He had been on painkillers for his knee, but even though his knee healed, he hadn't stopped taking those pills. He increased the amount instead. He had become addicted, and along with that addiction came the monster.

She had stayed with the monster for way too long. She had cried and begged for him to go to rehab. In the beginning he had promised to stop, but as he learned she wasn't going anywhere, his promises had stopped. The monster had taken over, consumed every fiber of his body. She was scared, and rightfully so. He saw the bruises he left on her, but the pills made him deny it ever being his fault. She just triggered him with all her nagging. And she wasn't leaving. Not until the day the monster went too far.

As always he had crashed hard on the couch after releasing the monster. He was dead to the world because of the pills. He never heard her pack her belongings. He never heard Roman enter the house. He woke up to his face though. She had called Roman, but not for him to take her away. For him to be there for Seth. Even in his darkest hour that caused her to leave, she still thought about him and wanted to keep him safe. He should have kept her safe too.

He knew that was the end, and he accepted it. He didn't try and reach out to her at all. He cried his heart out to Roman before handing over the pills. Roman flushed them, and together they found a place for him to rehab. Roman had driven him there that same afternoon. Her leaving had been the wake up call he needed. He just wished he could have seen it earlier, before he had driven her away.

Now he was back. She knew he would back today. Roman had told her. Roman had been a pillar for them both to lean up against. Seth knew all along that Roman was there for Juliette too. Without a doubt she knew that Roman was there for him too. They had suffered in silence with Roman as their middle man.

He took another deep breath and started walking down the ramp. Tonight on RAW he would make his comeback. Only a handful of people knew the real reason he had been gone for months. The fans had been told it was his knee again.

"Hi," he said nervously.

She turned around with a fearful look in her eyes. Those moss green eyes still sucked him in. He had never stopped loving her. How could he? She had always been the one for him, and he had messed it up. She grabbed Roman's hand, and Seth felt jealousy race through him.

"Welcome back, Seth," Roman smiled.  
"How are you?" Seth looked at Juliette.  
"Fine," she mumbled. "I'm needed elsewhere."

She took off fast, and Seth watched her run up the ramp. He was to blame for that.

"Let's go somewhere to talk," Roman said.

That sounded like a great idea. Seth felt the need to talk after what he had just witnessed. As soon as they reached an empty spot in the arena, he gave Roman a hard stare.

"Something you wanna tell me?" He sneered.  
"Like what?" Roman asked.  
"Are you with Juliette?" Seth asked.  
"No, I'm not," Roman answered.  
"You held her hand in there," Seth said.  
"She took my hand because she's still scared of you, Seth," Roman said. "And can you honestly blame her for that?"

Seth looked down, feeling so ashamed. No, he couldn't blame her. Not one bit. The monster inside him had hurt her too much.

"Seth?" Roman asked.

Seth looked up at Roman with tears in his eyes.

"I can't erase what I've done," he said lowly.  
"I know," Roman said.  
"I still love her, Roman," Seth cried.  
"I know that too," Roman said.  
"Does she still love me?" Seth asked.  
"I can't answer that. I never asked. I think a part of her still does, maybe even all of her. You need to ask her that," Roman answered.  
"It's just so hard," Seth said.  
"You don't get to play the victim. She told me, Seth. I know I got a watered down version of what you did to her, but the things I know is enough to make me very angry with you," Roman said. "But I also know that wasn't the real you. That was who the pills made you become."

Seth wiped his eyes and nodded. He knew Roman was right. He had no right in playing the victim. Sure, he had lost her but it was his own fault.

"I gotta go see Baron to go over some spots for our match tonight. Will you be alright?" Roman asked.  
"I'll be fine," Seth answered.

Seth went straight to catering in search for a cup of coffee. He needed something to calm his nerves and coffee always did the trick. He didn't know Juliette would be in there too. She sat in the corner. When she spotted him, she looked nervously around. He hated that he still scared her. The monster was long gone, yet that was all she saw. He fixed himself a cup of coffee, giving her plenty of time to escape. She still sat there when he turned back around, so he chose to walk down to her.

"Hi," he sat down. "Is it alright that I'm here?"  
"I don't know," she said honestly.  
"Swap places with me," he said.  
"Why?" She asked.  
"I can see you feel cornered, and I don't wanna scare you more than I already have. Let me have the corner seat so you can run away if you feel the need to," he said.

She nodded and they quickly swapped seats. She didn't look more comfortable but at least he knew he had given her an easy escape if she felt the need to get out.

"I don't know where to start," he sighed. "I can't find the right words to tell you how sorry I am."  
"I know," she looked down.  
"But you don't know," he said. "I'm so fucking sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I failed to protect you, and instead I hurt you."

She was still looking down, but he could see she was listening.

"I still love you," he reached over and took her hand.  
"No!" She snapped her hand back fast and looked at him. "Don't touch me!"  
"I'm sorry," he fought the tears that threatened to come out. "Please, forgive me. Let me prove to you that the monster is gone."  
"He'll always be with me," she stood up. "I gotta go."

He let her go. He was gonna prove to her that he was his own self again one way or another, starting with that RAW. He was opening the show and got a huge pop from the crowd. He took to the ring with a microphone in his hand. At least the company still had faith in him cutting his own promos without giving him a script. That gave him enough room to get his message across to her.

"Did you miss me?" He looked around. "Some people may doubt me, but I'll have you know, I haven't missed a beat while being gone. I will rebuild myself and I will take back what is mine!"

He dropped the microphone and walked out of the ring. Once he was backstage, he could hear Juliette and Roman's voices. He followed the voices until he found them.

"How dare he? How fucking dare he?" She yelled.  
"Relax," Roman said. "It's Seth. He's still cocky as fuck."

Seth smirked. Roman was right. He was back to being his old self, cockiness and all. She looked over and caught his smirk. Probably not the best way to get back in her good graces but it was too late to change it. She spun around on her heel and walked away without a word.


	2. Sweetheart

_"Can we talk over text? I figured you might feel safer when you don't have to look at me."_

Seth had tried writing her next morning. She had always been on his mind, but seeing her again the night before made it impossible for him to let go at all. He could see she read the text. That was a good sign. At least she hadn't blocked his number. She didn't answer though.

 _"I'm really sorry, and I'll prove to you that I've changed. I know I lost every right to even try to get back in your good book but I gotta try. Please, let me in, sweetheart."_

To his surprise she actually answered his second text.

 _"You lost the right to call me sweetheart."_

He smiled at the text. He didn't mind dealing with her anger as long as she answered. He typed out a cocky response that he knew probably had her smiling too when no one was around to see it.

 _"I'll earn it back. What do you want me to call you instead in the meantime? Baby? Honey? Sunshine?"_

He didn't get a response but that was alright. He would see her later when they all went to the arena. She could try and dodge him but there was only so many places she could run and hide in the arena, and he knew every corner.

He went early to train with Roman. Being in rehab for months had him feeling like a rookie again. He needed the ring rust off him. It took a little time but soon he was back with all his classic moves. Roman sold them perfectly even though they were only training.

"See, you still got it," Roman said.  
"It feels good," Seth said.  
"Keep going," Roman said.

They locked up again, pushing each other a bit back and forward.

"Someone's watching," Roman said lowly.

He spun Seth around and put him in a sleeper hold.

"See," Roman said. "She's watching."

Seth looked straight ahead to see Juliette watching them from afar.

"Beat me up," Seth said.  
"What?" Roman chuckled.  
"She deserves to see me down," Seth said. "Superman punch and spear. Then cover."

Roman pushed Seth forward and ran in with a superman punch. Seth fell down and slowly moved back up on his feet, only to come crashing down again when Roman hit him with the spear. Roman rolled him up, lifted his leg and looked at Juliette.

"Count, Juliette!" He shouted.

She shook her head.

"Come on!" He laughed. "Before he kicks out!"

Seth expected her to walk away but suddenly her voice sounded close to the ring. She had walked down there to get closer.

"1... 2... 3!" She counted.  
"Yes!" Roman pushed Seth's leg back down. "Eat it, sucker!"

Seth moved back up to stand and looked down at her.

"How did I look? Am I ready?" He asked.  
"The same as always," she answered.  
"So yes?" He asked.  
"You already know the answer," she said.

She turned to walk away again. He jumped out of the ring and caught up with her in no time.

"I just wanna talk," he said.

She nodded, and they walked up the ramp side by side. He longed to take her hand and feel her skin against his like in the old days. It wasn't that long ago even though it felt like a lifetime.

"So have you thought about what I might call you?" He smirked.  
"Juliette," she said.  
"You're not making it easy for me," he said.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you had it so damn hard!" She snapped.

She stopped, crossed her arms and stared at him.

"I'm sorry," he said.  
"Do you know why I left you?" She asked.  
"Because of what I did," he answered.  
"And what did you do?" She asked.  
"Come on, we both know what I did," he tried.  
"What did you do?" She demanded to know.

He ran a hand through his hair and licked his suddenly dry lips. It was hard to talk about but he knew they couldn't just sweep it under the rug. Not if he wanted to get close to her again. He had to own up to his mistakes.

"I hurt you," he said.  
"How?" She asked.  
"I beat you," he looked down ashamed.  
"Look at me!" She demanded. "Say it again!"

He shifted on his feet and looked up to meet her eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears just like his were.

"I beat you," he repeated.  
"Do you think that's why I left you?" She asked.  
"Yes," he answered.  
"I left you because of what you did that final night," she said. "What did you do?"  
"I don't remember," he shifted on his feet again. "I beat you again, and I know it got worse everytime, and I'm so fucking sorry, sweetheart. You gotta believe me. I wanna be part of your life again, even if it's only as your friend."

She shook her head and clicked her tongue. He could tell she was angry and hurt.

"Until you can actually say exactly what you did," she said. "Until you can actually say the damn words, you have no place back in my life."  
"Hey guys," Roman came walking up. "Am I disturbing something?"  
"No, you're just in time. Seth needs a friend apparently," she said. "And I'm not one."

She walked away and Seth leaned his back against the wall. He didn't care that Roman saw him cry.

"What was that all about?" Roman asked.  
"She wants me to say it," Seth answered.  
"Say what?" Roman asked.  
"What I did to her. She wants me to put it down in words exactly what I did," Seth answered.  
"So tell her. If you punched her three times, tell her that. You've already done the things you did. Might as well start talking about it so you both can heal," Roman said.  
"It's not that simple," Seth said. "I was so fucked up on those pills. I don't remember half of what I did."  
"So tell her what you do remember, and she might fill in the blanks," Roman said. "You know a simple sorry can't fix something like this. Imagine the fear and pain you put her through. Or at least try."  
"I know," Seth slammed the back of his hands into the wall. "I'm such an idiot. How can I expect her to forgive me when I can't even forgive myself?"


	3. Party at Roman's

"Party at my place tonight," Roman's voice came through the phone.  
"Will Seth be there?" Juliette asked.  
"You know he will. The party is to celebrate his comeback," he answered. "And I'm not taking no for an answer. You don't have to talk to him. But be there for me. Please."  
"Fine," she sighed. "I'll stop by."  
"Great. 8 o'clock," he said.

She hung up and looked at the text she had received while being on the phone with Roman. To no surprise it was from Seth.

 _"Are you coming to Roman's party tonight?"_

She put the phone back down and started to move out of the room. Four steps later she spun back around and walked back to the phone to answer him. He didn't deserve her attention, but she couldn't help it. There was so much past between them, and she still loved the man. She didn't trust him, and she didn't think she could ever be with him again after what he had done, but damn it if she still didn't love him.

 _"Yes."_

That was all she was willing to give him right in that moment. His answer came less than a minute later.

 _"See you there, sweetheart."_

A little smile appeared on her face for a second. She could see the old Seth was back, and old Seth always made her smile. It just wasn't enough in the long run. But maybe they could become friends in time. It wasn't like he was going away, so they had to be around each other.

She showed up in a pair of light blue jeans and a black, long sleeved t-shirt. Her eyes met Seth's before she chose to walk to the other end of the living room. She sat down next to Drew and Dolph and started talking. It hurt Seth to see her ignore him like that. Roman had warned him that might be the case and also told him not to do anything about it. Seth never had been good at following orders, so around 30 minutes later he walked over to the table and sat down on an empty chair.

"Hi guys," he said.  
"Seth," Drew smiled. "Good to have you back, buddy. Are you ready for your first match next week?"  
"Roman's probably the best guy to have my first match against. He won't let anything happen to me," Seth said.  
"Forever brothers," Dolph chuckled.  
"Yeah," Seth looked at Juliette. "Forever."  
"I think it's good you two kept in touch," she said.

He broke out into a smile. Was she actually trying to talk to him like everything was normal? He would take whatever little she would give.

"Yeah?" He asked. "Yeah, you're right. He's a good friend."  
"That he is," she said. "He's always there for people whenever they need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on."  
"I know," Seth said.

He wondered just how many times she had cried to Roman because of what he had done. Way too many no matter what the answer might be.

"Excuse me," she stood up.

She walked over to Roman and hugged him goodbye.

"Leaving already?" Roman asked.  
"I told you I'd stop by. Not that I'd stay all night. I'm sorry, Roman, it's just hard," she said.  
"I know," he stroked her cheek. "Thank you for coming. It means a lot that you're able to be in the same room."

She walked out in the hall and put her shoes and jacket back on.

"Wait," Seth came walking out. "Can I walk you home?"

She looked at him for a few seconds while thinking about it.

"I won't let you inside," she said.  
"That's okay. I just wanna make sure you make it home safe," he said.  
"Okay then," she said.

He quickly put on his shoes and jacket too and went outside with her. It felt awkward and familiar at the same time to walk side by side with her. He struck up a light conversation and she answered back just as lightly. He could do this. He could work his way back and make her trust him again.

"You live here?" He asked surprised. "With Alicia?"  
"She had a spare bedroom and wanted a roommate," she answered. "Where else was I supposed to go, Seth?"  
"I didn't kick you out," he said.  
"I wish you had so I wouldn't have gone through what I did," she said.  
"I'm sorry," he said.

He didn't care if she pushed him away. He took both her hands and leaned his forehead against hers. This was as close as he dared to get, and it felt good feeling her hands in his again.

"Tell me how I can fix it. Tell me how I can make you trust me again. Tell me where we go from here," he begged.  
"You know what I want," she said.  
"I don't remember most of it," he said.  
"Guess we're at stalemate then because I can't forget," she said.  
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm so fucking sorry," he said.  
"Sorry isn't good enough," she said.

She took a step backwards. Her forehead left his, and her hands slid out of his. He watched as she unlocked the door, opened it and then looked back at him over her shoulder.

"Can I still text you?" He asked.  
"Yeah, that'll be alright," she answered. "Goodnight Seth."

She moved inside and closed the door. He took out his phone while listening to her locking the door. He quickly typed in a text and sent it to her.

 _"Goodnight sweetheart. I might be pushing my luck for saying this, but I wish I could hold you all night."_


	4. Party at Roman's again

Seth was nervous moving into next week's RAW. He was ready to go back out there and show everyone he hadn't missed a beat. Roman was the perfect opponent for a first match back. He could always count on his friend to keep him safe inside the ring.

He had texted back and forward with Juliette all week. She kept him at an arm's length, but at least she answered. He kept on being himself, hoping at some point she would let him in completely again. He had even called her Sunday evening because he was nervous about his upcoming match. He hadn't thought she'd actually answer but she had. She had calmed him down and shown him support like she used to do back in the days. It only made him feel worse about how he had treated her.

"Are you ready, little brother?" Roman asked.  
"As ready as I'll ever be," Seth answered.  
"Good," Roman smiled. "See you out there."

Seth's music started and he walked down the ramp to a massive pop. The fans had always reacted to him no matter what. He stood up on the middle rope, spread his arms and soaked it all in. Seth Rollins was back, and everyone loved it.

He and Roman tore the house down. It would be hard following in their footsteps after the match they put on. Any nervousness Seth had left inside him completely vanished the second he locked up with Roman. The match ended with Seth stomping Roman down in the mat and pinning him for the three count. Seth Rollins was truly back.

"Good match," Juliette stood ready in gorilla.

He allowed himself to pretend for a second that she stood there waiting for him even though he knew she had a match next.

"Thanks," he said. "Good luck with yours. I'll be watching."

Her music started, her face dropped to a non-caring one, and she walked out on the ramp. She was a heel, and she couldn't be smiling. She was set to face Bayley that night.

"Take care of her, Bayley," Seth said.  
"I always do," Bayley said. "She misses you too, you know."  
"She told you?" He asked.

She smiled at him as her music started at the same time. She didn't answer his question, but he didn't need an answer. He knew she still had feelings for him. He could feel it. He just wasn't sure if she would ever be able to get over what he had done to her. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, but he would do whatever he could to get it.

"Party at my house tomorrow!" Roman yelled after RAW.  
"Again?" Juliette asked.  
"Yes," he put his arm around her shoulders. "You're coming. Everyone's coming. We gotta celebrate Seth's first match."  
"Didn't we celebrate him last week?" She asked.  
"We celebrated him being back. Now we're celebrating his first match," he chuckled.  
"Excuses, excuses," she said.  
"Come on, Juliette," he begged. "Please."  
"Why do you always get what you want?" She rolled her eyes.  
"Because I'm so charming," he laughed.

She walked into Roman's house next evening wearing a pair of black denim jeans and a syrup brown top with thick straps. She was dressed down again, but she was still the most beautiful woman in the room in Seth's eyes. This time she actually walked over to him.

"Hi," she sat down. "Still not drinking?"  
"You know that's not me," he said.  
"I know," she sighed. "So how are you feeling today after your match last night?"  
"Sore as fuck but I wouldn't have it any other way," he said.

This time she didn't bail after a short time. She sat and talked with him for a couple of hours. As time went by, they seemed to fall back to their old roles. It became easy to talk again. She even allowed him to touch her. He wasn't sure she even noticed him touching her hand or thigh from time to time. There was a time this was perfectly normal for them, so maybe she didn't think twice about it.

"How are things over here?" Drew sat down.  
"It's good," Seth said.  
"Great match last night, Seth. You haven't missed a beat," Drew said.

They talked for a couple of minutes about the match. Seth failed to see Juliette get up from her seat and walk away. It wasn't until he reached blindly for her, and he grabbed nothing but air, that he turned his head to see she was gone.

"I think she went to the bathroom," Drew said.  
"Thanks," Seth said.

He got up from his seat and walked out of the living room. The bathroom was empty, so she wasn't there. Her shoes and jacket were still in the hall, so she had to be around somewhere. He walked to Roman's bedroom, opened the door and found her sitting on the bed. He walked inside, closed the door and walked over to sit next to her.

"Are you okay?" He asked.  
"I don't know," she answered.  
"Talk to me," he said.  
"It's easy to fall back into our old roles, isn't it?" She asked.  
"Is that a bad thing?" He asked.

He took her hand between both of his and stroked it with his thumbs.

"I've changed. I'm back," he said.  
"I know," she said. "But that doesn't make the past go away."  
"I'm trying here, but I need you to work with me. Give me a chance," he said.

He leaned forward to kiss her, but she stopped him.

"No, Seth. It doesn't work that way," she said.  
"Please!" He begged.  
"Why did I leave you?" She asked.  
"Don't make me say it," he pleaded.  
"Why did I leave you?" She asked again.  
"Because I hurt you," he closed his eyes.  
"It wasn't the beatings. I stayed for all of those," she said. "What did you do that night, Seth? Why did I leave you?"  
"Because I raped you!" He said it loud and clear.

He buried his face in his hands and started sobbing. He had tried so hard to push that memory out of his head, but it had never left. He knew this was what she wanted to hear, him admitting to the monster inside him stepping over that line, but it had been so hard. If beating her hadn't been bad enough, he had taken it to that limit. Only that once because she left him that same night. That had been the final straw. He had been haunted by her cries from that night ever since.

He expected her to get up and leave him to sob on his own. He was a monster, and he didn't deserve her in his life. To his surprise, he felt her wrap her arms around him and pull him close. He wrapped his arms around her too, crying down on her shoulder.

"I don't deserve you," he mumbled.

He started kissing up her neck, slowly moving up towards her mouth.

"Seth," she whispered.  
"I don't deserve you," he repeated.

He should stop, but instead he pulled her up on his lap.

"I don't deserve you," he said a third time.

He kissed her deeply, and she didn't push him away. Despite him admitting to the worst thing he had ever done, she didn't stop him. He leaned backwards and pulled her with him down on the bed. He tried to roll them around, but she stopped him.

"No," she said. "I don't wanna be under you."  
"Okay," he whispered.

It made sense, that she wanted to control whatever happened after their last time together. He gently placed his hands on her hips, waiting for her to do or say something. She reached forward to hit the light switch on the wall. The room was left in darkness, which was strange to him. She never had a problem with seeing him during sex before.

"Sweetheart?" He asked.  
"I don't want you to look at me," she said.  
"But you're beautiful," he said.  
"Ssh," she shushed him.

She leaned forward and kissed him. His hands slid up her body, slowly moving her top up and over her head. He placed his hands on her breasts, and it was like a devil took over her. She pushed his hands away, slid down his legs and opened his jeans. She yanked his jeans and briefs down his thighs and got out of bed. He heard her get out of her own jeans and underwear, before she joined him on the bed again.

"Let me..." He started.  
"Shut up!" She hissed.

She grabbed his dick with one hand and slid down on him with ease. He hissed out loudly and placed his hands on her hips again. He hadn't been expecting that. It wasn't like her to be this way. He would usually warm her up first, either with his fingers or tongue, but she wasn't allowing it.

"Fuck!" He panted. "Juliette!"

She didn't say anything, but started rolling her hips. She found a quick pace, forcing him towards the end way too soon. He gritted his teeth and held on long enough for her to cum too. She started shaking and moaning. He squeezed her hips and released himself inside her, as she collapsed down on his chest.

"I love you," he said.

Her moaning had stopped, but she was still shaking a bit, and his shirt on his chest got wet. That's when he realized, why she had turned off the light in the first place, and hadn't wanted him to look at her. She was crying.

"Sweetheart," he reached for her face. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing," she said.

She moved out of bed fast and started putting her clothes back on. He sat up and fumbled in the darkness for the light switch. The room was illuminated again, just as she pulled her jeans back up. She grabbed her top and put it on too.

"Hey," he said softly.

He grabbed her hand and spun her around. Tears were streaming down her face, and she couldn't stop them.

"Come here," he said.

He tried pulling her in, but she yanked her hand free and stepped away from him.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Let's just talk about it," he said.  
"There's nothing to talk about," she said. "Thank you though. For owning up to what you did. I needed to hear you say it."

She walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. Roman came out of the bathroom at the same time. It wasn't hard for him to put two and two together.

"Wait," he gently grabbed her arm. "Will you be alright on your own? Do you want me to call a cab?"  
"I'll be fine," she assured him. "I'll see you around."

She walked away, and he walked to his bedroom. Seth had closed his jeans before Roman entered. For a few seconds they stared at each other in silence. Seth was the first one to react. He ran a hand through his hair, sat down on the bed and started crying again. Roman sat down next to him and squeezed his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He asked.  
"I did it," Seth cried. "I told her what she needed to hear. What I did that last night."  
"It makes sense, why you're both crying then," Roman said. "Do you wanna talk about it?"  
"I raped her, Roman," Seth cried.


	5. Italian food

She walked into the arena two days later, not knowing exactly how to feel. Seth hadn't reached out to her at all. She had expected, he would text her like usual, but nothing came from him. Somehow that hurt.

She had felt like, they had been getting close again. He had finally admitted to what he had done. She knew, she had acted wrong, when she had sex with him, but she couldn't stop herself. She needed to take back control over what they once were.

She walked through the hallways of the arena and down to the ramp. Inside the ring Roman and Seth were going at it, practising with each other. She was almost all the way down the ramp, when she noticed Seth's black eye.

"What happened?" She asked.

Roman jumped out of the ring, while Seth stayed back.

"Let's go," he said.

He placed a hand on her back and escorted her back up the ramp. She stopped on the top, not willing to go further. She took a look back to see Seth was still inside the ring, watching them.

"What happened to him, Roman?" She asked.  
"I punched him," he answered.  
"You what?" She asked shocked.  
"After you left the party, he told me what he had done to you," he said.  
"And you took it upon yourself to avenge that? What the hell is wrong with you?" She was getting angry.  
"I didn't think, okay?" He was getting angry too.  
"So why are you inside the ring with him now?" She asked.  
"He's still my friend. I figured, if you can forgive him, so can I," he said.

She looked down at Seth again. He had a hand on the top rope, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot, as if he was debating with himself whether to stay in the ring or go to her.

"Juliette?" Roman touched her upper arm.  
"You had no right!" She hissed. "I guess, it's true, what they say. Violence begets violence."  
"He deserved it," he said.  
"Maybe. But that wasn't your call to make," she started crying. "We were getting somewhere. We were talking and moving towards each other again, but you fucked that up, Roman. Now I know why, I haven't heard a word from him since your stupid party."  
"I'm sorry," he said.  
"I bet you are," she said.

She spun around and walked away. Seth jumped out of the ring and ran up to Roman.

"She's mad at me," Roman sighed.  
"Why?" Seth asked.  
"For punching you," Roman chuckled a bit. "I'll never understand women."  
"What else did she say?" Seth asked hopefully.  
"Let's go grab a cup of coffee and talk," Roman said.

As soon as Roman had told him, what she had said, Seth sent a text to her. She still wanted him in her life. That was for sure. He had been a fool for staying away. Her answers were the same as before, they slept together. She was still keeping him at an arm's length. He didn't blame her one bit. What had happened to the party was a one time deal. He wasn't sure, what had caused it, but it was a memory that filled him with both joy and sadness.

Another week went by like that. They were texting and talking, and he even called her a couple of times. They were becoming friends, and he accepted, that was probably all, he would ever be to her. A friend. He would take it. Anything to be as close to her as possible.

It was RAW again. Bayley and Juliette were moving on with their feud, now being joined with a friend on each side. Sasha and Alicia. It was a standard classic feud, but at least they got air time. That meant a lot to Seth. He and Roman were still feuding. The company had chosen to bring back Seth as a heel. They were closing this RAW with a falls count anywhere, ending with Roman pinning Seth on top of the broken commentator table, he had just speared Seth through.

The four women stood waiting in gorilla, when Roman and Seth came back out all sweaty and beaten. Seth didn't even think twice about it. He walked straight to Juliette and wrapped his arms around her. Just like in the good, old times.

"Are you coming out with us tonight?" He asked.  
"I already agreed to the girls," she answered.  
"Great," he released her from the hug. "I'll go shower and be right back."

All six of them found themselves in a little Italian restaurant a little while later. Since it was late at night, the place was abandoned, and they had it all to themselves. Seth watched as Juliette ate her favourite pasta dish from that place. Her food choices still hadn't changed.

"So Finn asked me out," Bayley said.  
"What did you say?" Alicia asked.  
"Yes, of course," Bayley grinned.  
"He's so hot," Sasha said.  
"Don't be eyeing my man," Bayley said.  
"All I'm saying is, you better be giving it to him fast, or he might look elsewhere," Sasha pointed her thumbs inwards. "And I might not say no."  
"Slut!" Bayley laughed.  
"It takes one to know one," Sasha laughed back.

Their laughter died down, and they looked across the table at Juliette.

"What about you?" Bayley asked.  
"What about me?" Juliette asked.  
"Are you and Seth gonna start dating again?" Bayley asked.

Seth choked on his food and started coughing. It made sense, they asked. Only two people besides himself around the table knew the real reason, he had been gone. The other three thought, it was his knee too.

"We haven't discussed that, and I would appreciate, if you would let it be," he said.  
"Sorry," Bayley mumbled.  
"It's alright. I just think, it's something, that should be between me and Juliette, if it ever was to happen," he said.  
"Of course," Alicia tried easing the mood. "And I don't wanna get rid of my roommate just yet. Unlike my last one, she actually pays rent on time."

They finished their food within the next half hour, and then went back out to their cars. Juliette looked at Alicia, since she had been driving with her to the restaurant.

"You know what, Alicia, why don't you take off without me? I'll ride with Seth home," she said.  
"Are you sure?" Alicia asked.  
"Positive," Juliette answered. "I'll see you at home."  
"Guess I'll swing by Jinder and see, if he's still up," Alicia said.

Seth didn't say anything. He was happy, that she trusted him enough to get into his car, where they would be alone.

"Are they dating? Alicia and Jinder?" He asked.  
"A little," she answered. "I don't think, they're comfortable with anyone finding out yet, but she can't stop grinning each time, she's been at his place."

He chuckled at that information and started the car. They drove back in silence, and too soon they were in front of her home. He killed the engine and looked at her.

"So would you consider it?" He asked.  
"Consider what?" She asked.  
"Dating me again," he answered.  
"I don't know, Seth," she sighed. "Too much shit has passed between us."  
"Yeah, too much shit," he agreed sadly.

He placed a hand behind her neck, leaned over and kissed her temple.

"I'll always love you, sweetheart," he said.  
"Seth," she said.  
"I just want you to know," he managed to smile. "Always. No matter if you'll only be my friend, or even if you choose to walk away from me entirely. Nothing will ever change that."


	6. Don't let go

Another week went by fast. Texts had become a steady thing each day between them. And not just a few. Lots of texts flew between them. Sure, he sent most of them and started each conversation, but he needed her to know, that he had meant, what he said. He would always love her no matter what.

His black eye had healed, as they moved into next week's RAW. Not that it would have mattered, if it hadn't. Bruises came along with this line of work, and they could always use the job as an excuse. He knew Juliette had done that a lot of times with the bruises, he had left on her, that she couldn't cover up.

He wasn't just facing Roman this evening. He, Roman, Baron and Drew were scheduled for a fourway elimination match, where he was set to come out victorious. The company really put faith in him again and pushed him right away. He knew, he was good enough for the job. He just hadn't thought, they would trust him that fast again.

The audience was on fire that night. Baron took the first pin and planted Drew with his finisher before finally leaving the ring. Drew was open for the picking, and Roman quickly covered him. It was down to the two former brothers again. They went back and forward for five more minutes, until Seth finally stomped Roman down in the mat and rolled him up.

"Here is your winner: Seth Rollins!" JoJo's voice sounded.

He went backstage, where he ran into Juliette, who was about to leave.

"Great match," she said.  
"Thanks," he hugged her. "I got a photoshoot, so I gotta run."  
"Take care," she said.

She found Alicia and talked for a few minutes with her before finally leaving the arena on her own. She was halfway across the parking lot, when a fan approached her.

"Juliette! Can I get a picture with you?" He asked.  
"Sure," she answered.

The man placed an arm around her shoulders and held up his camera for a selfie. Just before taking it, he grabbed her breast.

"Hey!" She pushed him away. "What the fuck are you doing?"  
"Don't be a self righteous cunt," he chuckled.  
"Fuck you!" She sneered.  
"Come on! You're putting it on display week after week out in the ring. You can't dangle a toy without letting people play with it," he said.

She knew, it was pointless trying to argue with someone like that, so she turned around and continued walking. She didn't get far, before he grabbed her again, pushed her back first up against a car, trapped her in with his body and groped her breasts.

"Let go of me, you pig!" She yelled.  
"Come on!" He rasped in her ear. "I wanna play. I know you want it."

Her mind went back to that dark night with Seth. She stopped fighting. Her body froze, as her tears ran down. She stared down at the ground, hoping he would be done soon.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Roman growled.

He yanked the man off her and sent him straight down on the ground with a hard push.

"I'm gonna sue you!" The man threatened.  
"Fuck off, idiot! There are cameras out here, so go ahead. Everyone will see, what you did," Roman said.  
"She wanted it," the man tried.  
"I said fuck off!" Roman shouted. "Before I fucking rip your head off!"

The man was fast on his feet and sprinted away from them.

"Are you alright?" Roman grabbed her face. "Juliette! Hey! Look at me!"

She only raised her eyes enough to look at his chest.

"Shit!" He looked around. "You're coming with me."

Seth was driving way too fast. He had seven missed calls from Roman, when he was done with his photoshoot and shower. He knew something was up. He had called Roman back. The second he heard, someone had assaulted Juliette, he ran out to his car. She needed him.

"Roman!" He ran into Roman's living room. "Where is she?"  
"In my bed," Roman said. "You need to calm down, before you go in there. I can't get through to her, Seth. She kept saying, she wants you."

Seth nodded and took a few deep breaths.

"Did you hear me? She kept saying, that she wants you," Roman repeated. "I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."

He didn't need to explain further. Seth knew, what that meant. He and Juliette could stay in Roman's bedroom. Seth nodded his thanks and walked into the bedroom, where she was lying on her side, running her fingers over the wall right in front of her.

"Sweetheart," he said.

He stripped down to his briefs and crawled under the covers to join her. Her naked thighs connected with his. She was lying in her panties and top. He was behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She spun around in his arms and wrapped her arms around him too, clinging on to him tightly while crying into his chest.

"Ssh, it's okay," he said. "I got you."  
"Don't let go," she whispered.  
"Never," he promised.


	7. I don't wanna live without you

When Seth woke up next morning and opened his eyes, he stared directly into Juliette's eyes. How he had missed being this close to her, holding her, looking into those beautiful moss green eyes.

"How long have you been watching me?" He asked.  
"Too long," she answered.  
"Too long?" He chuckled. "It can't have been that bad, since you're still here."  
"You're holding on to me," she said.  
"I said, I'd never let go. I meant that," he said.

She moved forward slowly and kissed him. He tightened his arms around her and kissed her back. She pushed one of her legs in between his, and that brought him back to reality. He broke the kiss and looked at her beggingly.

"Please, don't do this to me. Not if you don't mean it. I won't be able to handle you walking out on me again," he said.  
"I mean it," she whispered. "Please, Seth. I need you. I love you."

That broke him into tears. She still loved him. He tightened his arms around her again, holding her as close as he could while kissing her again.

"I love you too," he cried. "So fucking much."

He didn't know how long, they laid there kissing. The need for touching her grew too strong. His hand traveled down her back and settled on her hip. His fingers were toying with the hem of her panties.

"Do you trust me?" He asked. "I need to know, you're not still scared of me."  
"I trust you," she whispered.  
"I won't hurt you," he promised. "Never again."

He gently moved his hand down in her panties and started rubbing her clit. He kept his eyes on her, as her eyes closed, and she started moaning lowly. He kept at it for a minute, until she grabbed his wrist and opened her eyes again.

"Please," she begged. "I need to be with you again."  
"Do you want to be in control again?" He asked.  
"No," she let out a deep breath. "Just be careful. Last time..."

She didn't finish the sentence. She didn't need to. He knew, what she meant. She wasn't referring to the last time, they had been together. She was referring to the last time, she was on her back. That dark night that he couldn't erase.

"It won't be like last time," he said.

He pushed her top up and over her head. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her stomach before hooking her panties and pulling them off her.

"I'm gonna be good to you," another kiss to her stomach. "And if you want me to stop, I'll stop. No questions asked. Just say the word."

He pushed his briefs down and kicked them off. She laid on her back, waiting for him to continue. He settled between her legs and kissed her again.

"Are you sure, sweetheart?" He asked.  
"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm still just a bit scared."  
"Just say the word," he reminded her.

He pushed into her gently, and she moaned lowly. He let his lips wander over as much of her exposed skin, as he could reach. She had her hands on his back, slowly moving them up and down while her hips rolled with his. He listened to every little moan, that came from her, ready to stop if something sounded wrong.

"Seth!" She moaned. "Please!"

He sped up slightly while raising his head to watch her come undone. She was still as beautiful, as he remembered, when she gave herself to him completely. He continued with his thrusts, letting her ride out the waves of her orgasm, before he came too. She slowly opened her eyes and was met by his warm smile.

"Are you okay?" He asked.  
"I'm good," she smiled back.

He leaned down and buried his head in the crook of her neck.

"I love you, sweetheart," he said.  
"I love you too," she said.  
"Come home," he said.

She didn't respond. He lifted his head again.

"Please, come home," he begged. "I don't wanna live without you."  
"Give me a second," she said.

He rolled off her, feeling his heart break again. She needed a second, and it felt like, she was about to tell him no. She moved up to sit on the edge of the bed, placing her elbows on her knees and looking straight ahead. He didn't dare to speak. The silence was thick for a few seconds, until she finally turned her head and looked at him.

"You broke me last time," she said.  
"It won't happen again," he said.  
"I know, it won't. You still gotta work on gaining back my trust. You got a lot of it already, but I'm not quite there yet," she said.  
"I'll work my ass off," he moved up and placed a kiss on her spine. "Does this mean, what I think, it does?"  
"I don't wanna live without you either," she said. "I'm coming home."

He laughed behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled them both down to lie again. She spun around in his arms and kissed him.

"How will Alicia take the news?" He asked.  
"She won't care. She always says, she knows, she's only borrowing me, until you come back around again," she answered.  
"She's a smart woman," he said.  
"And a good friend," she added. "Just like we're gonna be right now. Roman slept on the couch. The least we can do is to take him out for breakfast and coffee."  
"He's gonna be so happy, when he hears, we're moving back in together," he said.  
"About time he gets a break from our bullshit," she said.

They got dressed and walked out in the living room, where Roman sat up and looked at them with groggy eyes.

"Why the fuck do you look so happy this early?" He asked.  
"Guess what," Seth said.

Roman looked from Seth to Juliette and then back to Seth again.

"Judging by the looks on your faces, I think, it's good news," he said.  
"It's great news," Seth said. "She's moving back home."  
"No shit?" Roman grinned happily. "You don't take any crap from him, Juliette, or he'll meet my fist again."  
"Don't give her any ideas," Seth said.  
"Just being a good friend," Roman winked.


End file.
